Mindset

11 Tips to Increase Self-Confidence

7 min

Self-confidence is essential for a fulfilling life and for anyone who wants to achieve their goals in life. It is most often discussed in the professional sphere. But it is just as useful in the personal and family spheres. And it is quite possible for anyone to acquire it through simple exercises.

What is self-confidence?

Trust? It means being able to rely on something or someone. Self-confidence is that deep feeling you have that gives you confidence in your abilities and personal resources. It gives you a sense of comfort when faced with situations that are considered difficult or unpleasant. It also gives you self-control. Self-confidence helps you to assert yourself more easily in various areas of your life. Thus, it can enable you to stand up to others and contributes greatly to the success of whatever you do. When you are confident, you are daring: you are more daring and you are able to take risks to get out of your comfort zone. On the other hand, when you lack this feeling, you tend to devalue yourself, even depreciate yourself, in the eyes of others. In short, self-confidence is faith in your ability to do things.

open notepad with writing you are capable of amazing things
Open notepad with writing "You are capable of amazing things"

Is self-confidence innate?

Let's face it: self-confidence is not innate. It is acquired and developed as you become more familiar with your abilities. A person who lacks self-confidence is a person who is not aware of his or her abilities. They are often in doubt, always questioning their thoughts, decisions and choices. They are sometimes unable to make decisions for themselves, so that they end up being subjected to their surroundings and to events. Therefore, for a fulfilling life and to achieve your goals, it is important, even vital, to develop your self-confidence so that you can rely on yourself in all circumstances. You can thus expect happier and richer relationships, greater success in your projects, more self-esteem, more daring to undertake...

a child proudly wearing a t-shirt with the words love who you are
A child proudly wearing a T-shirt with the words "Love who you are"

Tips to build a strong self-confidence

Like any ability, self-confidence can be worked on. You can develop it gradually, but surely, through simple exercises. But to get results, you need to apply them regularly. Indeed, you are wrong to believe that once acquired, self-confidence is definitive: it is strengthened or weakened by your experiences. So remember to look after it as you would your treasured possessions.

Be aware of your qualities and weaknesses

A person who is not sure of himself or herself finds it difficult to find qualities (moral and physical) and easy to find faults. So take the time to make two lists, trying to be as honest as possible. Don't hesitate to ask those around you if you have trouble making it. The first list, of your qualities, will help you to see yourself in a new, more benevolent light. The second will enable you to become aware of what you need to work on. And regularly, set yourself small challenges to improve your qualities and unblock your weaknesses.

Be yourself!

Being yourself is the surest way to develop your self-esteem and confidence. While it is sometimes useful and wise to take a cue from someone who is always confident, you cannot model your whole attitude on them. Everyone has their own way of expressing confidence based on their own experiences. It's up to you to find what suits you best, according to your personality, so that you feel completely at ease. As they say: "to imitate is to limit oneself"!

Stop comparing yourself

There is no more effective way to doubt yourself than by comparing yourself to others. Whatever you do and wherever you go, there will always be someone more competent or stronger than you, just as there will always be someone weaker. Of course, the former are inspiring and can motivate you to progress in a given field. But when self-confidence is lacking, it can actually prevent you from taking action for fear of not being up to it. You are unique! So learn to accept and love yourself as you are.

Go to the others!

It's true that if you're not sure of yourself, it's difficult to strike up a conversation with a stranger. But don't worry, it's never easy for anyone! But avoiding others doesn't help you either: exchanges enrich you and allow you to establish new relationships and gain new perspectives. So force yourself to make contact instead of always running away, lowering your gaze or turning your face away from another person. Communication is not only verbal. It also involves gestures and eye contact: look at the person you are talking to when you talk.

board on black background with white writing perfect love casts out all fear
Board on black background with white writing "Perfect love casts out all fear"

Get out of your comfort zones!

Challenge yourself to do something you have never done before. Create opportunities to open yourself up to new experiences such as discovering new environments, trying a new sport or other activity, singing in front of an audience... This will help you develop your adaptability faster than you think. In addition, stepping out of your comfort zones gives you the opportunity to simply face your fears, and increase your skills. And every challenge you take on will boost your self-confidence.

Congratulate yourself!

Too often we tend to seek approval and recognition from others. This, unfortunately, does not often come naturally or spontaneously.  So for every achievement you have made, big or small, think of congratulating or rewarding yourself.

no fear written in black on a light blue background
"No fear" written in black on a light blue background

Take action to transform your fear

As they say: "it's because you haven't started that it's difficult". Indeed, it is always the first step that is the hardest. Instead of wasting your energy trying to control your anxiety or thoughts at all costs, transform them into positive actions: reach out to others, express yourself, smile...

Learn to assert yourself

Are you losing your confidence when it comes to defending your ideas? Take part in debates to learn how to defend them in order to keep them, by arguing without aggression. This is also a good exercise to avoid being influenced by fear. This way you learn to assert yourself.

think positive written in red on a white plastered wall
"Think positive" written in red on a white plastered wall

Practice positive thinking

A lack of confidence can be the result of erroneous or limiting beliefs that block you in what you want. Changing your way of thinking based on reprogramming your brain is a great help in giving you a boost.

fluorescent red neon displaying it began as a mistake
Fluorescent red neon displaying "It began as a mistake"

Learn from your mistakes

If you are the kind of person who doesn't dare to act because you are afraid of failure or who can't stand to make mistakes, it is probably because you expect too much of yourself. You are setting the bar too high and putting pressure on yourself. Set reasonable goals and take it step by step, focusing on each step to reach your goal, not on the goal itself. And remember that when you start something new, trial and error is inevitable, and so are mistakes. Mistakes allow you to progress and in any case, you are not starting from scratch, but with your experiences.

Dare to makeover

When you are not sure of yourself, the image you present to others may reflect this. Seek professional advice to help you find your own style that fits your personality. Once you are comfortable with the way you look, you will be more comfortable in front of others because you feel better about yourself.

man running on a wooden footbridge in front of the sunrise with mountains and a forest of fir trees
Man running on a wooden footbridge in front of the sunrise with mountains and a forest of fir trees

Conclusion

Self-confidence is the basis for a fulfilling life. If you don't have it, or don't have enough of it, it's probably because you don't really know yourself, or because you expect approval or recognition from others. You have the abilities within you to achieve your goals. You just need to identify them and develop them.

I help Entrepreneurs to transform their lives through the elements that have allowed me to transform mine : Mindset, Energy, Discipline.